-The Storyteller-

-The Storyteller-

So am in my late twenties and i am still not married...Big Deal! No, am serious its really a big deal...

In Nigeria, a girl who is my age and is unmarried is perceived as a reject. Most guys are wary of her because they honestly think that if she is unmarried at this age then there must be something wrong with her. 

It makes absolute sense to them because who wont want to marry a totally awesome lady? 

Right?

 Well, have they thought about it that this totally awesome lady-not referring to self- may not be totally ready-prepared-for the "forever do us part" vow yet..Huh, have they? Guess not...

Being ready -prepared- has nothing to do with age and success in most endeavours happens when preparation meets opportunity.

So, at the receiving end you are seen as desperate, old and unwanted. Terrible qualities that shouldn't even be associated with a human being much less a woman. But that is the sad reality in which our society forces us to believe that the old ones are a cast away and the young ones well, they really have no sympathy on older girls because their own thoughts are "what did you do with your youth?" In a weird way, they are right and wrong at the same time.

But come to think of it...That's the big question,what exactly did i do with my youth that made me so engrossed that i didn't hook -a term used to signify marriage-a guy to myself before now?

Well, honesty there is no justification for my being unmarried at this age. I won't say something petty like "I was hurt by the man i thought i was going to marry" or saying something awkward like "I was too busy building a career".

Instead, i will talk about how awesome a single lady in her late twenties or thirties can be....This post in my head was just like writing something not just for the sake of writing anything but writing because I feel like a victim trapped in this season that I cant control but I am still supposed to make the best of...  This is most definitely not going to end up like a motivational post or a self esteem boost. This is one write up that has taken me one week to write, simply because i want to look back at this when... "IF" i eventually get married and be extremely proud of myself. 

I believe that we all have our destinies to fulfill and they are very different from the next person. That is why i don't agree with people's ideologies when they state that a woman's destiny must be tied to a man. For the sake of procreation, maybe, but not in all cases. Some women have ended up in abusive marriages that have led to their demise, will we say the same applies to them?

I honestly believe marriage is a very good thing and aspire to be a bride someday but until that day can the society just take a backseat and let their single sisters breath some fresh air???

 Well, i just believe that a woman is beautiful and purposeful with or without a man. I have been doing things i might never get the chance to do when i eventually get married; like get more education, start a business, go out and spoil myself rotten...To mention a few..lol

Biblical understanding is very important for a  young lady at this age. You must seek the word of God and nothing else so that you are not fed with the world's opinion of you but instead you have a perfect understanding of God's opinion of you. He sees you as better than those married because your concentration is not divided. You are a better vessel to be used because your responsibilities are fewer and you have more time in your hands for extra activities. He calls you blessed and doesn't think of you as desperate or not favored. He wants you to know constantly that His thoughts for you are of good and not evil so if you are not yet married...Pish-posh...

Whether you are married or not, trust me, the society will always have their own opinion of you. It never stops...First they want you educated, then they check if you came out well or not, then they want you married, then they check whether you have children or not. Finally, they want you successful, then they check whether you achieved that alive or not.

 In other words, if you start living your life taking notes of what the society calls you or what they think of you or how they treat you, you had better get ready of live a life of misery;constantly living up to the world's expectation of you.

I have always wanted to be different but i have my insecurities too, i must admit. Most times i think i will be lucky if a man eventually marries me, with my extremely independent nature and carefree attitude towards relationships, it will take God's intervention for a man to seriously admit he will not withstanding want to spend the rest of his life with me. 

Those insecurities does not and cannot change the fact that i know i am blessed no matter what happens and i know God is still good no matter how i turn out to be. So those two truths is what has and will keep me going whenever the going gets tough...I just keep going.

Finally, to all other single ladies out there, you are wonderfully and fearfully made. Don't ever forget that, dust off whatever remnants you have of your past and look into the future with your shoulders held high. Be proud of who you are or what you have become and mostly be extremely thankful you are alive...That is a sure sign of hope.

Let that hope be built on nothing else but Jesus' blood and righteousness, don't ever trust in what people say but wholly lean on Jesus' name. He has never failed and He won't start with you. Your destiny will come to past...I am so certain it will. 

Until then, be awesome...Plus share the word and shine your light.

Note to future self: You were totally awesome at this age, be sure to remain awesome. xoxo