MY LOVE CONFESSION

                                                 

                    MY LOVE CONFESSION

There are so many things I would have loved to write concerning love...But it's really not my favourite subject so I have tried hard to avoid writing about it. The more I tried not write about it, the more I have been put in awkward situations where love is the only subject there is to write about.

So, in my own little way, I want to write about love.

Funny, this is the first post this year...I think I am still allowed to write <Happy New Year> my dear readers, we shall have a great year ahead I am so sure we will....I am pretty excited about writing again and writing about love. I remember when I wrote about the heartbreak hotel which made its debut on tech360ng.com, people asked a lot of personal questions wanting to really know if it was really my experience or if it was just creative writing on my own part. I didn't respond to any of their questions but I think I am ready to answer those questions now, and the obvious answer is Yes. I had my heart broken into shreds and I had to take months off to put the pieces back together.

The most interesting detail about that whole experience was that, I didn't even know I was in love until I was heart broken. I confess to taking the relationship for granted but when it came to an abrupt end, I realized what I had just lost but it was already gone and letting go was the most painful part. I puffed and stuffed whatever I could get my hands in just to  ease the pain, but it won't just go away. So I decided to write about it and it felt so good that it has become one of my most creative write-up ever.

Let us not dwell in the past shall we, today, I write about love, not heartbreak. 

That feeling that you don't ever want to go away towards someone that you are so angry at but at the same time you don't know how to live without them.

I am currently at a place where I am fully aware of the place of love in my daily life. Before now, I was just existing, doing the things I had to do every day to get by. I didn't look forward to anything, didn't have any extra drama in my life, nothing was exciting, no one was interesting enough and I just thought my life was where I wanted it to be. No troubles, no drama, nothing!

But then things changed when I started to get a little extracurricular activity from this boy whom I have had a crush for in years. I was excited about this new activity that wasn't the norm, but that was all it was at first....Excitement...Until, when I would hurry to charge my battery just because I didn't want any interruptions when am chatting with him or the fact that I change my itinerary just so it would fit into his plans.

As independent as I would like to see myself, I admit that I have become totally dependent on those few little moments I have with him. This time is a little different unlike others, I am extremely aware of the changes I am feeling and I am totally not taking him for granted.

He, on the other hand, has known me for 8 years now and is also new to this love thing. So, he hides his feelings as much as he can but that is what i have realized is the reason I am falling in love with him. Others were so opened to tell me how they felt but their actions spoke differently, but he, he hardly tells me anything, but his actions speak volumes.

 Love is what makes the heart healthy because its happy most times. We giggle at the most stupid things and apologise to nothing, in particular.

There are silent times when we have so many hate words to say to each other but would rather be quiet than speak words that we would eventually regret. The silence treatment is not too healthy though, but those are issues that we are trying to deal with because the longest we have gone without talking to each other is over one month. 

*Breathes in heavily* I was right about one thing when I wrote about the heartbreak hotel, don't ever take the hurt out of that hotel. Let it go and  start again, I had to practise what I preached and one year after I am back to write that your heart will love again, breath again and fix itself back to its initial state. You just have to forgive yourself and move on.

All my life I have known that love is the one thing that gives complete happiness, happiness should not be comprised for anything. I have had a lot of love challenges, but I have pulled through everyone just by asking Christ to help me out. Especially when it hurts so bad I am always scared that that feeling won't go away. I fear turning bitter and despising the person who put me in that situation but then when am at my lowest point, I just ask Christ to take the pain away. At first it feels like nothing happens, after a while, as the days go by, I see that it becomes easier to breath, easier to sleep and easier to laugh again.

 So find what makes you happy and hold on to it for as long as you can. Remember, that when it comes to love, there is no compromise.

If you are in love, please don't take it for granted. Make your actions speak more than the words you will ever utter. If you haven't found love yet, don't you worry, you will find it as long as you stay optimistic and remain opened to the possibility...It will happen.

                   Spread the Word! Shine Your Light