Based on Logistics

Happy Love Month

This is the month to show love, Yaay! But it has always been the season of my becoming single. I know it sounds cheesy but February is the month where I test the relationship I am in and decide whether to push forward or let go.  I cannot count how many relationships I have disconnected from after trying to make work but it doesn’t just end well no matter how I try, I read books, follow they-say advice, communicate, sacrifice... I have done everything needed, still, nothing works.

Yesterday, my dad and I spoke and I could see the disappointment in his eyes and fear in his voice. He and my mum have tried their best to model the values of the family to my siblings and me but I am the one who has shown no sign of success in that department. He is disappointed, I could tell, but he didn’t say it. What else do I want him to do to prove that family comes first? What?

Well, if I could talk back which I can’t, I will tell him...

"Pray for me, pray I find my way because nothing can be done than love me either way."

My rollercoaster love life starts when I dated at 15. I said yes to my first real boyfriend at that age and so far I have had over 10 years dating experience in relationships. If this was job experience, at 10years; I should be an executive by now, fulfilled, and well paid and comfortable. Instead, I am single and not in a hurry to jump into relationships based on my wealth of experiences.

I have tried to make it work with as many that I have dated but it doesn’t just work and I will keep trying but I won’t make a love interest permanent until I am sure, positive and God led to do so.

A former toaster teased me that maybe I do not pray enough. Wait... What? After that rubbish talk, I stopped communicating with him. First, I didn’t date him because he was violent. When he gets angry, he threatens to hit whatever makes him angry and one day, he pulled through on his threat; I hope his wife knows this... Digressing; who in the world aligned the word toaster with a love interest? Buhahahahahahaha...They should have called it washing machine stead. lol

Second, he thinks his prayers made him married and not God’s mercy. Those words expose his spiritual immaturity and that is a big turn off for me. Prayer is the master key to everything but it only open doors God assigned to you. If God did not create that door of opportunity for you, if you pray from now till forever, nothing will change except God has mercy on you.

Do you think religious men who lose their children to sickness or accident do not pray enough? Or barren women who do not bear children did not spend most of their youth praying for a miracle. Atheists do not believe in God and do not pray, yet their dreams and aspirations come true. How do you explain that? 

Romans 9: 16 put this discussion into perspective “It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God's mercy.”

God has given us everything we have whether we want to admit it. If He doesn’t want you to have it, it doesn’t mean He doesn’t love you or your life won’t still be great. It means He has other plans for you with a good expected end so you have to trust Him and focus on what He has given you so you can live a happy life.

Back to our discussion, as a woman, society has made our existence defined by our ability to find a man, have children and stay with a man. I am not a feminist so I won’t argue against the societal norm but I will argue in favour of the exceptions to this norm. There are wildings; me, who have tried to make this social norm our reality but have failed. Wildings have become frustrated, depressed and bitter while others, I,  inclusive have looked within to realize that we are not failures just because we can’t fall in love with a man and stay with him forever. There is something we thrive in and that is what we must focus on until we succeed in the societal norm and if we never succeed in this so-called normal, at least we get to live a great life.

Statistics: I need not exert myself too much to succeed in academics and I have succeeded and failed but I have succeeded more than I have failed compared to relationships where I have failed more than I have succeeded.

My calculating self never repeated a class, but I passed my senior school leaving certificate examination with “CS” and “DS” and I had to take “GCE” to boost my WAEC results and then I took Jamb 3times before I passed on the 4^th try... I know right sucks, crap but that was my wake-up call tho.

This young svelte got admission to a polytechnic; Yaba College of Technology studying Estate Management and my first-year CGPA results were in an upper credit. I left after my first year to study Ceramic art at the Federal University of Technology Akure and graduated after 5years with a Second Class Upper degree. Afterwards, I went to take a master degree at the University of Lagos studying Ceramic/Materials Engineering and I graduated with distinction and an international publication to my name at the prestigious Journal of Materials (JOM) and now I am pursuing a doctorate degree. Based on this logistics, I have studied Estate Management, Art and Engineering finishing the recent degree strong and bagging a distinction; the harder it became, the better I got by God’s grace and mercy.

 So with everything I have written, and you were me, so far, you have succeeded in academics and least successful in relationships, which will you pursue further?

Well, wisdom is profitable to direct, and I have made it my map to figuring out the way I should go.

FYI: As from now on when you meet wildlings, instead of being a bully by talking/thinking crap about how they should be married or looking down on them or making them feel like they are rejects, why don’t you just   ... Pray for them, pray they find their way; love them either way because they are no less female than the married ones and if you can’t do the aforementioned, get the hell out of their faces and lives.

Share the word! Shine your light!